World Business

I made a series of coaching sessions with 1-1 people from a local company, the other day and I started a specific topic, arising from the day. It was like trying to change the way others treat you.

Some of the people I coached tried to change the behavior of people working for them. Others had problems with more older people, in other words, they try to manage their boss was.

What I wanted from these discussions, it seems that to try four essential steps to change the way others treat you. Absent the implementation of these measures, it is very difficult to succeed.

Step 1 – Tell Them How They Should Behave

This may be blindingly obvious, but it does not always happen. I often have people who say “I wish that would stop XY” coached. But if I, if she had mentioned this on X to ask, they say, “No”.

Sometimes it’s because they are afraid of the reaction. They believe that the other person might get angry or react strongly to some extent. This may be because the other person before them, and they are intimidated.

But if you do not tell someone how you want to behave, how they know? You must be on the way, calmly and clearly what you expect of them. For example,

“They must get to work on time every day” or “I want you to stop working at my desk at the last minute and asked me to stay and work late.”

Step 2 – Change Your Response

You can not directly change the way people behave to others, but you can change your own behavior. You can change how you react to them and how they treat you to her.

Your actions must your words. So if you send someone to stop you asking for your e-mail day and then they stop to answer. It is useless to tell them you want to be disturbed on the day but then act in a manner that undermines what you say. You are only encouraging them to continue.

Step 3 – Be Consistent

Like little children, your colleagues need to understand that “no” means “no.”

If you decide you do not want to disable voicemail on the answering machine of your day, then never reply. Do not make exceptions.

If you have someone to do something and do not ask them, then show it. Each time you let go, to think, “I went with him, time and nothing happened I will try again ..”

Step 4 – Play “Consequences”

If someone does not do what you want is what will happen? If the answer is “nothing”, then there is no real incentive for them to change.

In some cases, the fact that you express your disapproval be enough. If the person does not want to offend or annoy you, they will change. In other cases, it can do more – like with some effect on their careers or the load. In severe cases, it may be the threat of some form of disciplinary action.

If the person is a person, you can, you should discuss with a colleague on the same level or more experienced than themselves or with someone from the personnel department.

But often, it will not come. In many situations, being clear about what you want from the people, put down a marker on what you think is acceptable behavior and then act in a consistent manner will be enough to make a difference in your answer.

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